Dating, kissing, holding hands were not allowed. This study also found that adolescent children of religious families managed their emotions and actions better. We posit that a central reason for these divergent outcomes is a system of dualities at the nexus of religion and family. My family wishes he went to church, but they also wish I went to church, but since I’m adamantly atheist, it is so not going to happen! Choosing one religion can strain relationships with the extended family celebrating the “out-religion.” Parents feel they must be on guard against grandparents from the “other side” proselytizing or lobbying in more subtle ways. The sooner we get over this, the better for the species. It’s different, though, than the church I grew up in: it’s tolerant, open, inquisitive, and more socially and economically progressive than many Christian churches I’ve encountered. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. Having a community that makes us feel welcome and supported is important. We've updated our Subscription site. An extreme example would be religious discrimination and terrorism. At least Amidha Buddhism is a time saver. Secularism is on the rise. If you haven't done so already, please create a new password here. There are many religious paths you can choose to go down. They say things like “relationship over religion” or “Jesus over religion,” but they forget things such as … I warned her several times of the toll it would take on our relationship, sure enough my fears were realized. Each issue provides inspiration for conscious living, healthy diet and lifestyle, social action, spiritual wisdom and sustainability. Take heart that accepting your family’s choices doesn’t mean you can’t express different views or share how it feels when their words land painfully for you. Do I keep quiet around my family and risk cultivating an inauthentic self that pops up only when I’m around them? It sounds as if you and your family have a history of making demands of each other around adopting your chosen life compasses. Here's the situation. Christianity is a religion, but as believers we treat it as a relationship. By Lisa Belkin December 3, 2009 11:25 am December 3, 2009 11:25 am. Then make a clear, actionable request, such as, “Would you be willing to try out an hour-long conversation, so we can take turns sharing how these past conversations have felt and how we wish they’d gone, while the other person just listens with warmth and reflects back what they’re hearing?” Be open to counter requests, until you arrive on a strategy that feels mutually safe and hopeful. Can you relinquish the lukewarm goal of tolerating them and ask your sacred compass to continually guide you toward genuine and vulnerable connection with them, despite your differences? “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” 1 You are free to choose a religion or not, as you wish, without government interference. Please subscribe to access our issue content and all of our archives. If so, one strategy you might consider: Rather than initiating an exploratory conversation or “debate” about beliefs, how about first requesting a restorative conversation about how painfully these past conversations have gone for everyone involved? Principle 1: A religion’s concept of God should harmonize with what we can know about God from creation. Charity starts at home. joined a church. 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