The chemist tries to erode the can. The insurance company paid for everything. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. “We shape our buildings, thereafter they shape us.” - Winston Churchill. Facebook Haha Funny Thoughts Secrets Hate Love. Send him up here.”, Satan shook his head, “No way. Engineering Quotes Sayings & Quotations Collection. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. That doesn’t work either. A good scientist is a person with original ideas. The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, The chemical engineer stands up and proclaims: “I’ve got it! Improvement makes strait roads: but the crooked roads without Improvement are roads of Genius. Funny Engineer T-Shirts from Spreadshirt Unique designs Easy 30 day return policy Shop Funny Engineer T-Shirts now! Laugh at 17 really funny engineering jokes. Plus, the funny engineer sayings t-shirts you see above start at just $14.95. 7861 matching entries found. 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, Science is about knowing; engineering is about doing. A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer, and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. The engineer goes second. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”. He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. The last one is strapped in and say’s “I’m an electrical engineer, and I’ll tell you right now, you’ll never electrocute anybody if you don’t connect those two wires.”. Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. They spot a buck, and each take turn to try and bag it. Funny Engineering Quotes and Sayings. You’re in the wrong place.”. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, Engineering Joke An engineer is someone who uses a slide rule to multiply two by two; gets an answer of 3.99 and calls it 4 to the nearest significant figure . He should never have been sent down there. Quotes tagged as "engineering" Showing 1-30 of 190. Funny Engineer Quotes - Find a happy and positive messages every day to light up your day. Liked these engineer jokes? He was one of the pioneers who improved on the design of motor cars to make them much more efficient. That doesn’t work. - Douglas Adams -. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”, The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”, “I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”, “Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair. That’s a mistake. 1. How does one put out a fire? it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, — Gordon L. Glegg, British Engineer, 1969. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer. The goal of science and engineering is to build better mousetraps. The scientist submerged the ball in water in a graduated cylinder and measured the displaced volume. First the engineer’s coffee maker catches fire. “Engineering is the art of directing the great sources of power in nature for the use and convenience of man.” - Thomas Tredgold. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. The engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefit’s package.”, The HR Manager said, “Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years – say, a red Mercedes?”, The engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow!!! The lawyer looked somewhat confused. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. Discover and share Engineer Humor Funny Quotes. “Take the best that exists and make it better.” Happy Engineers Day Quotes. Grin and bear it with this funny navy 100% cotton Engineer's Motto Engineering T-shirt You can also check out the best of funny acronyms. I'm a hacker, not an engineer. Engineer Gifts for Women Men I speak 4 languages English Profanity Sarcasm Engineering Funny Quotes Gifts for Engineer Graduation Student. Supernatural is a null word. Software Engineering might be science; but that's not what I do. “When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.”. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? 61. Mechanical engineers build missiles, civil engineers build targets. 27 Best President Jokes "Scientists dream about doing great things. Because we know how hard the process is, we went ahead and put together this collection of really funny engineering memes . Engineers Day Facebook Images. He says to himself, “Hmm. Funny Civil Engineering Quotes An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn’t have the personality of an accountant. “I know,” said the Departmental Manager, “Let’s have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way.”, “No, no,” said the Hardware Engineer, “That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about engineers. The goal of nature is to build better mice. Also, it was a very difficult and rigorous course. They have a supply of canned goods but no can opener. Engineering Humor "A scientist can discover a new star, but he cannot make one. Make Funny Engineer Quotes Excerpts Work or motivation for daily reflection for the Workplace. it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes Discover our 20+ funny birthday wishes for engineers that make getting older just a little bit easier! Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Top 50 Funny Computer Quotes byJun-February 03, 2010-88 comments If you have enjoyed our collection of top 50 Linux quotes of all time, I'm sure you would love these funny computer-related quotes that I have put together. An electrical engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”. 1. Oct 19, 2018 - If it isn't broken, take it apart and fix it. An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. The engineer says, “Look, I’m an engineer. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”, God was as mad as he had ever been, “This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, “How much do you want it to be?”, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” Engineer's Motto Engineer T-shirt makes engineers more bearable Engineering T-shirts & More Engineer's Motto Engineer T-shirt is for your favorite engineer who always tinkers and fixes things that aren't broken. And about the former I am rather more optimistic. It is amazing that almost anything is made fun of and engineering doesn’t escape the list. There is no one area of chemical engineering that specifically helped me in my career as an astronaut, it was more the general education in engineering. Architects and engineers are among the most fortunate of men since they build their own monuments with public consent, public approval and often public money. 20+ Funny Birthday Wishes for Engineers Memes and Quotes. Please Like Us On Facebook Or Follow Us On Pinterest Now, 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes An intern angel, filling in for St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, “Ah, you’re an engineer. If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. Engineers Day Whats App Status. Happy birthday engineer! I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool!”. The mathematician, of course, has been watching all this out the window. An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn't have the personality of an accountant. Happy Engineers Day Funny Quotes. Get it right….CIVIL ENGINEERS. An engineer died and reported to the Pearly Gates. . “How do you start a flood?” he asked. Engineers and Glasses The optimist sees the glass as half full. 25 Really Funny Harry Potter Jokes much help at all. So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. They are not for making money. Quote #1. If you are Electrical or Electronic Engineer, Student, Electrician, Technician or hobbyist, We are sure that you are a part of one of them in the following image gallery. What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? One is quantum electrodynamics and the other is the turbulent motion of fluids. 20+ Funny Web Developer & Software Programmer Quotes We collected some cool web designer quotes not long ago and thought a follow up with the web developer version would be an awesome idea just so we don’t hurt anybody’s feelings if they are more coding oriented. It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. He bends over, picks up the frog, and puts it in his pocket. Airplanes are beautiful dreams. Life is like a gas turbine, After every compressor, there is always a turbine! He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. He wakes up and sees that a cigarette butt has set the trash can on fire. See some amazing funny engineering quotes below. Get inspired by reading the above quote [""] Be inspired wherever you go with great quotes. The frog then cries out, “If you kiss me and turn me back, I’ll do whatever you say!” Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it, and puts it back into his pocket. Frankly, you’ve not been “That’s quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. The lawyer said, “I’m here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. 10. He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window, and goes back to sleep. 62. Did you hear about the constipated engineer? ; Engineering is the art and science of nuts and bolts. Jul 14, 2016 - Inspirational & important Quotes related to the electrical engineering background. Engineers day Facebook Profile Pic. Powered by  - Designed with the Hueman theme, 1 An Electrical Engineer And Talking Frog, 3 Joke About An Engineer, A Statistician, And A Physicist, 4 Electrical Engineering Student And His Friend, 6 The Way Software Engineer Sees A Solution, 10 An Engineer, A Chemist, And A Mathematician Stuck In An Old Motel, 11 Joke About A Lawyer And An Engineer In The Caribbean, 12 Engineer Competing To Be Chief Executive Officer, 15 Mechanical Engineers Versus Civil Engineers, 17 Best Arrested Development Quotes By Tobias Funke You Need To Know, 205 Best Comebacks And Funny Insults That Will Make You…, Funny Comic Strips: ‘All Humor Comics #3’, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes So Good You'll Laugh Till You Cry, 37 Best Anthony Jeselnik Jokes & Quotes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Mitch Hedberg Quotes & Jokes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Funny Irish Blessings, Sayings, & Proverbs, 35 Best Funny Drinking Toasts For Friends You Need To Know, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 49 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List That Will Shut All Jerks Up, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, 99+ [Unique] Funny & Serious Dog Names You Need To Know. “Aha”, says the engineer, “I see that Scottish sheep are black.”. Just kidding, I know you have a boring office job! What more do you want?” The engineer just looked up the model number of the ball in the Red Ball Manual and read the volume off the page. “The road to success is always under construction”. You’ve got an engineer? Funny engineering funny funny engineering quotes funny engineer quotes File Size: 600 x 600 pixels (43827 bytes) Image Name: quotes picture quotes 4405 views File Size: 480 x 480 pixels (37220 bytes) Image Name: 50 funnyputer quotes funny quotes failure humorousputer quotes Mechanical engineers build weapons. Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh. It was a natural log. Finally, the frog asks, “What is the matter? A chemist, a physicist, and a chemical engineer are rafting down a river. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced, “Four.”, The accountant was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. The frog speaks up again and says, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and returns it to the pocket. Engineer Quotes (123 quotes) Boss: Dilbert, You have been chosen to design the world’s safest nuclear power plant. 60. I am an old man now, and when I die and go to Heaven there are two matters on which I hope for enlightement. Although some of which are pretty old already, they can still tickle a geek's funny … “But remember this, Japanese boy... airplanes are not tools for war. “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.”. “A girl came riding up to me and got off the bike, threw off all her clothes, and said that I could have anything that I wanted.”, “Wow,” remarked his friend. Unfortunately, you’ll have to go through a lot if you want to be an engineer and enjoy those benefits. Programming Quotes. This could be accomplished by applying water.” So he picks up the trash can, puts it in the shower stall, turns on the water, and, when the fire is out, goes back to sleep. Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our hilarious jokes. What's the difference between civil engineers and mechanical engineers? I’ve got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car’s braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way.”, “Well,” said the Software Engineer, “Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.”. but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me. . You see, my ambition was not to confound the engineering world but simply to create a beautiful piece of art. 29 entries are tagged with funny engineering quotes. The physicist goes first. You just have to read these funny quotes about engineering. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. 20 Best Banker Jokes See more ideas about humor, engineering, engineering humor. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. An engineer, a physicist, and an accountant were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. Here Funny Engineer Quotes is a quote to enrich your life. “I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”, “Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Engineers do them." From here, it becomes an engineering problem; the engineer considers the ground motion that will occur and evaluates the requirements of the proposed structure in the light of the local foundation conditions. The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. He would have to ask an engineer to do that." Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. “Hmm”, says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black”. 10 Engineering Quotes “As engineers, we were going to be in a position to change the world – not just study it.” —Henry Petroski, American engineer and author specializing in failure analysis “The scientist discovers a new type of material or energy and the engineer discovers a new use for it.” The joy of engineering is to find a straight line on a double logarithmic diagram. Good move. classic!. Makes a perfect gift for the engineer, engineering professor and student. 2. Not only classic but Epic ? An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be. Antibody - One who hates his body . You’ll have to spend several sleepless nights and skip partying with friends just to study. See more ideas about engineering quotes, engineering, electrical engineering. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. She replied' the engineers make advances and add no detail, the lawyers argue details and make no advance'. Great Birthday gift and Christmas present. So, it made me strong and resourceful. On this page: Engineering Terminology; Top Ten Reasons To Date an Engineer What were they to do? The car’s occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. A mathematician, scientist and engineer were tasked with finding the volume of a red ball. A look at life to the right of the bell curve because engineering = magic. So later, when he finds that his pipe ashes have set the bed sheet on fire, he is not in the least taken aback. “That’s great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”, God’s face clouded over and he exploded, “What? “I am an attorney and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.” The switch is thrown and again nothing happens.Figuring the law is on this guy’s side, they let him go. it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, Funny quotes. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. “I had no talent for science. Check out 25 really funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of funny insults. . I don't know where most of those came from, they were floating around on the 'Net. Maybe you want to start designing your own funny engineer sayings t-shirt designs from a blank slate. He says, “I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent.” They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go. A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”, A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. Electronic calculators can solve problems which the man who made them cannot solve; but no government subsidised commission of engineers and physicists could create a worm. ... but considers this anecdote to be too trivial a corollary to be significant, let alone funny. Here are 25 of the funny programming quotes in random order. One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point; isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. You can also read funny car quotes and cousin quotes if you love humor. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure. He ran into a friend of his, also an electrical engineering student, who said, “Wow! — Anonymous. “Try the same when the engine is running.”?? The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said I can pick any dead engine and make it alive . Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. . He worked it out with a pencil. I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”, The woman below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. Engineering...to define rudely but not inaptly, is the art of doing that well with one dollar, which any bungler can do with two after a fashion. One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”, Satan laughed and replied, “Hey, things are going great. Recently I was looking for some good programming quotes for one of my presentation. Explore 274 Engineers Quotes by authors including Scott Adams, Mark Zuckerberg, and James A. Michener at BrainyQuote. But can you ????? They would sure thank you for sharing these awesome engineering jokes. Piecemeal social engineering resembles physical engineering in regarding the ends as beyond the province of technology.